i was born a porn star she said
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize