Non-Jews are for practice
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
