I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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