In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
