Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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