We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize