I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
