Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
