Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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