Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
