I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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