Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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