i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
