trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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