I want to walk on stilts...naked
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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