i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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