Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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