i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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