Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
