What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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