Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
