STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
