I heard we made out
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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