I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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