I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
