they need to just BURY HIM!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
