You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
