I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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