I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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