I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
