Its about making memories worth repressing
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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