I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And then my night got REAL pukey
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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