He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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