There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
