Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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