After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
