everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize