at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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