he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
