just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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