i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
