I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize