My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
