for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
