Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I believe in your delicious
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
