YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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