I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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