Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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