i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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