Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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