kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
