We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
