Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
