why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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