I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
