remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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