Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
