Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
