i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
