So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize