Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
