i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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