i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
