Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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