Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize