I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
