Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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