Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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