i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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