I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
