We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
