you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
