I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
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