everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
