i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
